Dominos Pizza Takes over El Paso Streets & Maintenance Department
"Paving for Pizza" program overwhelmed by El Paso's Streets
by Satira Sinvergüenza
Associated Mess
After receiving over 400,000 calls from El Paso residents
complaining about potholes and San Andreas Fault-like cracks in their roadways,
armed Domino’s Pizza employees took over El Paso Streets & Maintenance Department
on Wednesday.
When reached for comment about the continuing deterioration
of El Paso’s roadways, City District 8 Representative Sissy Lizarraga stated, “We have a
nice baseball stadium. Look at the monkey!”
Earlier this year, Domino’s Pizza started a program in which
it would dispense grants of $5,000 to up to 20 locations across the U.S. to
help fill potholes and repair cracked roads. This was an effort to keep their
delivery drivers from driving over potholes and thus ruining their customer’s
pizzas.
However, El Paso proved too much for the corporate giant.
“We kept getting calls,” says Domino’s Pizza CFO Pepe Roni, “that
pizzas were being delivered looking like giant tacos, pizzas folded in half or
that all the toppings had fallen off.”
“Then the calls started coming in from El Paso residents,”
says Roni, “400,000 of them!”
Instead of trying to fill one pothole at a time, Domino’s
decided to take the bull by the horn and to fill the over one millions potholes
in El Paso’s streets.
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| Above: Domino's Pizza employees struggle with City of El Paso employees in Street Department takeover. |
“We were contemplating giving 4-wheel drive vehicles to all
our delivery drivers in El Paso,” says Roni, “but after doing a cost-benefit
analysis, it showed it would be easier to just take over El Paso’s Street & Maintenance Department.”
Former City Represented Steve Ortega who predictably was standing
nearby said, “This is a good example of a public-private partnership. Oh, and
Paul, Woody, call me, you’re not returning my calls.”
