Technical News
Bill Sanders Unleashes Beto 4.0
Amid Malfunction of BetoBot
O'Rourke Campaign states Bot was in "Suegro" mode when it exposes Plans for Segundo Barrio and South Yarbrough Ahead of Schedule
by Satira Sinvergüenza
Senior Technical Reporter
Last week's public malfunction of BetoBot has brought a series of customer complaints and jeers enough to make billionaire El Paso real estate tycoon Bill Sanders announce that he is releasing Beto 4.0 to replace the crash-frequest Beto 3.0.
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| Above, Sanders introduces the new Beto 4.0 |
At the Beto 4.0 release, Sanders described the new programing of Beto 4.0 and that programmers have ironed out most of the bugs found in earlier versions, especially Beto 3.0.
This announcement comes as public scrutiny has taken aim at recent malfunctions by a BetoBot with Beto 3.0.
According to witnesses, during a grassroots door-to-door district walking on Saturday in El Paso near South Yarbrough, BetoBot suddenly passed a bulldozer parked on the side of the road, jumped aboard starting the ignition, and drove toward the Ysleta Pre-K, Centro Cristiana Alpha y Omega, and Valentine's Bakery before neighborhood residents jumped aboard the bulldozer and stopped BetoBot.
“This is pretty alarming,” says CNET analyst Amado D. Kompuradoras. “The Betobot has had a series of problems since its initial outing as Robert O'Rourke.1.0. At that time, that version was sufficiently Republican until you got the BetoBot was released in Version 3.0, name change and all, now a Democrat.”
“I think the main problems the O'Rourke Campaign has had with the Beto 3.0 software," said Kompurador, "is several stability, reliability, and performance issues in the Beto 3.0 software"
However, computer analyst, Dan Deknica, says this is not the only problem with Beto 3.0.
At a recent party in the Five Points area of El Paso, Betobot danced up a storm with a local city politician and then suddenly started spurting out the names of the high-end contributors to the O'Rourke campaign, the majority being Republican donors including super-suegro Bill Sanders, Robert Hoy, among other.
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| Above, this past Saturday, Lower Yarbrough Dr. residents saved Valentine's Bakery & Ysleta Pre-K from destruction by Betobot. In a public statement, the O'Rourke Campaign said that demolition of Lower Yarbrough is not to begin until next year but a malfunction made BetoBot confused dates. |
“We think this was just a vulnerability issues,” says Deknica. “One that exposes Betobot to flip flopping, run time errors, and other quirks.”
However, Saturday's incident has left many wondering about the reliability of Beto 4.0.
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| A previous version of BetoBot malfunctioned at an El Paso City Council meeting killing six city representatives before being disabled by Rep. Steve Ortega who had received training in disabling Beto 2.0's Suegro Mode. |
In a statement, Annie Mentomain, technical director for the O'Rourke Campaign said the issue is very simple.
"There are various settings for Beto 3.0. On Friday, the setting was set to 'Suegro Mode.' At this setting, consumers can enjoy the 'classic mode,' the old Robert 1.0 through 2.0 settings such as bulldozing Segundo Barrio, building a port of entry over a Pre-School, and more Republican-like features,” said Mentomain.
“However, the campaign,” admitted Mentomain, “we forgot to switch Beto.3.0 back to Democrat mode on Saturday morning and this explain the incident with the bulldozer.”
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| BetoBot with Beto 2.0 killed 30 police officers at a Los Angeles police precinct in 1984 |
At Sanders' introduction of Beto 4.0, he explain that Beto 4.0 has settings for the far left too. “At our Cheechnchong Setting, Beto 3.0 can be spurting all the marijuana legalization talking points we grew to love until the race for U.S. Congress began,” says Sanders.
The O'Rourke campaign however, admitted that because of reliability issues, they seldom put Beto 3.0 on its Cheechnchong setting.
“What happened Saturday at lower Yarbrough was unfortunate,” says Ben Dido, the campaign Hispanic outreach coordinator, “and we are glad lower valley residents were able to stop Beto 3.0 before any demolition occurred.”
“It's is not in Beto 3.0's programing to bulldoze lower Yarbrough for a port of entry for his suegro,” says Dido, “at least not until after Beto 4.0 wins the election.”
