Interview with the Party Balloon that closed down
El Paso’s Airspace.
Associated Mess
DIEP: What is your name?
Baal Loon: Baal, pronounced “Bah-all,” like the Canaanite god. Last name is Loon. It was originally Looney, but I shortened in in 1957 after I starred in Albert Lamorisse's The Red Balloon (Le ballon rouge) in 1956. That film caused me too much notoriety, and the paparazzi were following me everywhere. That's why I changed my name. I was red then; I came out in 1973.
DIEP: Where were you born?
Loon: I’m not sure, I may have enter the country illegally from China. I was very young. I may have flown here.
What happened on
February 10, 2026, in El Paso?
Loon: Well, I was at Party Store West, just minding my own
business, then somebody took me by force to this Westside party.
DIEP: Those can get pretty rough. Did the party get a little out of hand?
Loon: No not really, but I did.
DIEP: Why what happened?
Loon: I got a little high. Whatever those westsiders they gave me, sent my fly’n.
DIEP: Then what happened?
Loon: Suddenly I was flying high and started seeing airplanes,
helicopters, pink elephants, and stuff. Then suddenly, there were no more airplanes.
DIEP: Why not?
Loon: There were just no more, and then the Border Patrol started
shooting at me.
DIEP: That's terrifying. Did they know you meant no harm?
Loon: I don’t know. The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. I was just going wherever the wind took me, and suddenly they're shooting all these things at me.
DIEP: Is it true you were sent by the cartel?
Loon: No, I never really associated with Trump or Epstein.
DIEP: Were the U.S. Border Patrol agents ever able to shoot you down?
Loon: No, those guys can’t aim or get their guns up. I came down from my high and landed in U.S. Rep. Tony Gonzales' backyard.
DIEP: That's a dangerous place. How did you feel?
Loon: I was all deflated.
DIEP: Like Tom Brady's balls?
Loon: No bigger than those.
DIEP: Did you learn anything from this experience?
Loon: I’m never getting high again.
